During my philosophy final somebody mentioned something about how many philosophers it takes to screw in a light-bulb. This clearly needed to be contemplated so:
How many philosophers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A light bulb requires either 0, or as many as there are in existence, or an infinite number of philosophers to be screwed in. For:
- The philosopher will realize that the end of every worthwhile activity is truth. In the case of light bulbs the illumination of proper objects of truth is the only real end without which the screwing in of light bulbs is more properly left in potential. Sometimes truth is best contemplated in the dark, as when there is modern art in the room. So in this case it would take no philosophers to properly screw in the light bulb.
- Additionally, philosophers will realize that there is some good in screwing in a light bulb this good is found in as much as it is more being in the activity (sometimes called, having a life, or actually doing something) than simple existence. In this case, as many philosophers as have no better thing to do would be required to fill as perfectly as possible the end, or goodness, of screwing in the light bulb. It is well known that philosophers have no life, and having no life is a lack of being which is improved by any being, so screwing the light bulb would further actualize all philosophers in existence. Thus screwing in a light bulb would require all philosophers
- The philosopher will realize that the light bulb’s screwing partakes in the circle, the most perfect shape. The circle is most perfect because it has no beginning and no end. Thus the philosopher will realize that in order to be most perfect the light bulb should be screwed in continuously. No single man can screw in a light bulb continuously. To do anything that cannot be done by one being indefinitely, indefinitely, required an indefinite number of beings, therefore there must be an infinite number of philosophers to screw in the light bulb.